January 2012
19 posts
Men...
mikelernerphotography:
…if you’re at dinner with your lady and she gets up to use the bathroom, instead of checking your phone, stand up. It’s old school. Guess who will get laid that night. That’s right, you.
edit: Oh! And if she asks what you’re doing, just say, “Just being polite.” Sex and breakfast the next morning. Thank me later.
GAME OF THRONES APRIL 17TH
destroyer:
queenmyrcellas:
1 tag
1 tag
December 2011
37 posts
Listen
Watchdolphinlife:
Eat It Up.
Ten Reasons Why You Should Never Accept a Diamond... →
1. You’ve Been Psychologically Conditioned To Want a Diamond The diamond engagement ring is a 63-year-old invention of N.W.Ayer advertising agency. The De Beers diamond cartel contracted N.W.Ayer to create a demand for what are, essentially, useless hunks of rock. 2. Diamonds are Priced Well Above Their Value The De Beers cartel has systematically held diamond prices at levels far greater than...
I love good bad jokes.
Q: How many elephants fit in a Mini Cooper?
A: Four, two in the front two in the back.
Q: How many giraffes fit in a Mini Cooper?
A: None, the Mini Cooper's full of elephants.
Q: How can you tell when there's an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.
Q: How can you tell when there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: They giggle when the door's closed.
Q: How can you tell when there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: It's getting hard to close the door.
Q: How can you tell when there are four elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a Mini Cooper parked outside.
Bosconian
1. Malinis pagpasok, madungis paguwi pero mabango parin. 2. Magulo, maingay pero magalang. 3. Alam lahat ng latest sa kamundohan pero marunong magdasal. 4. Riot rakista, hip hop mailap, alter heater, lahat ng tunog, mapabulong o sigawan pero gentleman. 5. Kamay pang grasa, kuryente at makina pero hustler sa computer, guitara at ano-ano pa. 6. Itsurang anghel pero useful sa kusina, sa garahe at...
I can't stop
Q: How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
A: Open the fridge door, put the giraffe in, close the door.
Q: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
A: Open the fridge door, let the giraffe out, put the elephant in, then close the door.
Q: The Lion King is having an animal conference. All the animals are there except one, who doesn't show up?
A: The elephant; he is in the fridge.
Q: You have to cross the river where the crocodiles live. You have no weapons and no boats, how do you do it?
A: Just swim across it. The crocs are at the animal conference, remember?
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term: The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?...